How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Such number as may be deemed necessary to perform the stated task in a timely and efficient manner within the strictures of the following agreement.

Whereas the party of the first part, also known as 'the lawyers' and the party of the second part, also known as 'the light bulb' do hereby agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part (light bulb) shall be removed from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed upon duties, i.e. the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of the area ranging from the front (North) door, through the entryway, terminating at an area just through the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the second part (light bulb) and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the parties. The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be limited to, the following steps:

1. The party of the first part (lawyer) shall, with or without elevation at his option, by means of a chair, step stool, ladder or any other means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part (light bulb) and rotate the party of the second part (light bulb) in a counter clockwise direction, said direction being non-negotiable. Said grasping and rotation of the party of the second part (light bulb) shall be undertaken by the party of the first part (lawyer) to maintain the structural integrity of the party of the second part (light bulb), notwithstanding the aforementioned failure of the party of the second part (light bulb) to perform the customary and agreed upon duties. The foregoing notwithstanding, however, both parties stipulate that structural failure of the party of the second part (light bulb) may be incidental to the aforementioned failure to perform and in such case the party of the first part (lawyer) shall be held blameless for such structural failure insofar as the non-negotiable directional codicil (counter-clockwise) is observed by the party of the first part (lawyer) throughout.

2. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part (light bulb) becomes separated from the party of the third part ('receptacle'), the party of the first part (lawyer) shall have the option of disposing of the party of the second part (light bulb) in a manner consistent with all applicable state, local, and federal statutes.

3. Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part (lawyer) shall have the option of beginning the installation of the party of the fourth part ('new light bulb'). This installation shall occur in a manner consistent with the reverse procedures described in step one of this self same document, being careful to note that the rotation should occur in a clockwise direction, said direction also being non-negotiable and only until the party of the fourth part (new light bulb) becomes snug in the party of the third part (receptacle) and in fact becomes the party of the second part (light bulb).

Disclaimer: The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the first part (lawyer), by said party of the first part (lawyer), or by his or her heirs and assigns, or by any and all persons authorized by him or her to do so the objective being to produce a level of illumination in the immediate vicinity of the aforementioned front (North) door consistent with maximisation of ingress and revenue for the party of the fifth part, also known as 'The Firm'.

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You persevered. Good on you! :)

Reference: This entry is taken from the blog that belongs to one of my friends, Christine! =] Study hard for you exam k? =]

An unfinished post

When I tidied up my room few weeks ago, I found a stack of cards that I didn't send out. There were about 13 cards I think? And today, another 3 joined that stack. There were many reasons why I wrote finish a card, but in the end never send it out. Perhaps I didn't have the address, or the receiver's birthday has already passed by the time I finished writing it, or just simply, the receiver no longer see the need for receiving the card.

Am I sad? Am I disappointed? Or am I simply sad that things always turn out this way? It's a cycle that I have no idea how to break. Perhaps I have resigned to this.

Weird, I couldn't continue to write this post. It's the first time I experienced this.

Going back as A Chinese Teacher

I have been really busy since last Thursday. This is because I went back to my secondary school to volunteer myself to teach Chinese as my juniors would be taking their Chinese O Level papers this coming Monday. I really enjoyed to go back to my old schools, be it secondary school or junior college (but not my current school though =p lol.) because I can always help out and derive much satisfaction from it! =D Beside, I like to interact with people and my juniors as well as new teachers! =D lol.

I was primarily in-charge of this class of Sec 5 class (just like last year!) which is supposed to be not-that-good compared to their peers from another class. But apparently, from what I have learnt about them from our interactions for the past few days, I realized that many of them were not that bad. They did have a certain level of Chinese standard already. Perhaps it was just that they were not that confidence, or lack of some critical skills such as to examine the question and answer them in the way the question required them to do. In addition, some of them are really hardworking and kept asking lots of questions. There was this junior called Eugene and when his classmates went out for break before the night class, he held me back and asked me lots of questions! In the end for the next two hours, the big whiteboard was full of Chinese characters and sentences that I shared with him when he asked me questions. There was also this guy called Timmy who was well-known for his “mischievous behaviours” (yeap people you know what I meant =p lol.). But despite that, I must say that he was quite good in Chinese and rather well-behaved in my class! =] There was also this guy called Qin Quan, who looks abit like “pei kia” and sometimes would say something very irritating, like when the teacher asked him to do a practice paper, he would like “Aiyah teacher can don’t do or not, I very tired already” something along that line. But nonetheless, when he was given the paper, he would do the paper quietly all the way until he had done his paper, unlike his peers who would get distracted more easily than him.

Then when this group of Sec 5 kids went out for their dinner, i would go to teach other kids. =] There was this girl called Pamela. A friendly one who always asked questions. i believed she will be able to do really well. Not too worried because she could take a good care of herself. =] But, i more problematic one was her friend Vanessa. At 1st i noticed her because of her hair colour, but oh well, its naturally like that so i have nothing to say! =p lol. Then hor, got CCA never come for night class. Okay suan le. Then when i finally saw her again in the night class, she came in reading magazine at 5pm, then read all the way to 6.15pm! -.-"" So much so that her own friends said, "Wah! you finally start liao arh??" Classic! lol. I was worried for her sia. Vanessa if you are reading this, please buck up! But remember dont overstress yourself as well okay? =]

All in all, I realized that how fulfilling it is to become a teacher, especially when they were able to understand what they have asked after you explained or answered them! =] I really enjoyed it. And apparently my students too, because when I told them yesterday was my last day they were like “WHY?!? Why tomorrow you not coming already?!?! Come leh come leh…” =p lol.

Last but not least, I would like to use this opportunity to thank my gf for allowing me to do all these. My gf had been really supportive to me by allowing me to go back and help out. What is more, she even offered me it is okay not to fetch her on Friday like I usually do and let me go back to teach again. Rejected her! Caused I think that it is alright for me to use my own time to do things that I like, but still I shall not be selfish and do just things that I like to do at the expense of our own time together! So no no! I will still come and fetch you! =D Even though this passage is not very long, but I do want to say that I really appreciate for everything that you have been given to me. What more can I ask from her? =p lol *muaxkz* lurve! =]

All right people, I going off to fetch her liao! Cya!! =D

Forming group with artists

Oh well people, I had a weird dream again this morning – I actually dreamt of Michelle Chia and Tay Ping Hui (oh yes people, they are the MediaCorp artists). Damn weird, somehow I just managed to dream of them! =p lol. The background was really weird also. Apparently in my dream I was in a class with my secondary school friends forming a group. I decided to let the other friends of my to join another group, then I would join my good friends to form our own group. In the end, I saw both of them were alone, so I decided to join them to form a group. Then apparently I was in disagreement with them and I decided to join another group but it was too late! And after that I woke up. =s

What a weird dream, is this a bad omen for my coming project work?? =x lol..

My 22nd Birthday @ Jurong BirdPark =]

The house looks comfy. =]

Penguins! Looks like 2 photos side-by-side hor? =p lol.

Penguins Parade! =]

They also parade. =p lol.

They have their own territories.

Peacefully stay together. =]

Its elegant. =]

Dont you think so? Especially the curvy feather. =]

Night owl. =]

Looking outside.. Looks so poor thingy.. =x

They dont friend friend each other. =x

In contrast, they friend friend each other. =]

One big family.. =]

The rooster abit extra. =p lol..

Ostriches

Proudly standing. =]

Looks pretty and cute! =]

My gf!! =D

Me!! =D

Parrots feeding. =]

This naughty parrot, actually walked from one side of my shoulder to the other. =p lol.

and apparently it helps itself very much with the food. =p lol..

The green parrot scratched my hand! =x

My conclusion is, they like the orange thingy around. =p lol.

"Want some more??"

They all carry mighty bearings, and have the air of kings (of birds, of course =p).

This white parrot is cute and friendly! =]

Different types of hives.

Little duckkies.. So cute! =D

Its mouth is dirty. =x

The wing only got bone and feathers. =x

Pretty. =]

Ah Rainbow!!! =D

My gf by the flamingo pool. =]

Sun-tanning! =]

Swannie! =]

Elegant Swannie. =] Now i really know why swannie is so elegant le. =]

They like to sun-tan, dont they? =]

Looks like pageant like that. =p lol.

Okay, opening performance. =p

Turns out to be quite "violent"! =p lol..

AH YOU BITE ME!! =x

I BITE YOU BACK!! =x

Aiyah, he bites me again!! =x

Dont fight liao lah! =x

Those on the water: "Where is the food??!!"
Those one the stone: "Why u all fight until like that??"

They open their mouths really wide. =p lol.

Mine!! (Its neck very long hor? =p lol.)

Got brown, white and black friend friend living together. =]

Swan by the fountain. =]

Rainbow's siblings.. =]

It looks so angry. =x lol..

How lovely.. =]

Waterfall =]

Now you the the pink colour of the flamingo! =]

Flamingos by the waterfall! =]

Birds do "sun-tanning" together! =p

Dancing on a tree trunk. =]

I like the pinkish colour at end of its feathers. =]

Thankz you very much! =D

Thank a lot baby! I enjoyed my birthday alot!! =] Nxt year! Goat Farm!! =D lol.